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2018 Power Rankings-Playoffs 2
Introduction History in the making! For the first time since 2012, a former champion has not made it to the final four! This is a joyous occasion for anyone who champions balance (here's lookin' at you, Thanos). After this season, we will have five champions in eight years. Sure, one of those champions may have won four times. But let's not deal in absolutes. Five unique winners in the first eight years ain't half bad. The LOC truly has a way of balancing itself out. Consider this: Sweet Dee, Paddock 9, and Garoppoblow Me once played in the consolation tournament back-to-back years (2013-2014). Since then, all three franchises have gone through a complete revamp of draft strategy, personnel, and mid-season coaching. Momma, Shotti, and RIP, on the other hand, finished 1st-3rd just two short years ago. Now they battle for the Heart and Soul Bowl. Pain Train, meanwhile, has gone through a renaissance of his own. Out of the playoffs from 2015-2016, they have since made the final four in back-to-back years and lead the league in regular season win % during that time: Impressive. However, this doesn't always translate into championships. Consider poor GBM, who is now playing in his fourth straight semifinals (5th overall) with no rings to his name. He might be tied for the league lead in wins since 2015, but he doesn't have anything to show for it...yet. Sweet Dee, his opponent, leads the league in losses since 2015, and is in the same position as GBM heading into the final two weeks of the 2018 fantasy year; two wins away from a trophy. Quarterfinals Wrap Up While I wouldn't go so far as to say we had a classic quarterfinals weekend, Papa vs. Dee did come down to a MNF showdown, while Paddock 9 put up one of the top quarterfinal performances ever. Bottom of the Pack Thanks, in part, to another dud by Browns4You (more on that in a bit), we had one of the lowest scoring quarterfinals to date. Scoring was down for every team as several games became monster defensive showdowns, shutting down powerhouses like Todd Gurley, Adam Thielan (still don't know if I'm spelling that right), Stefon Diggs, and Antonio Brown. All-Time Performances Below is a list of every performance in the quarterfinals ever, because what else is a man running out of chart ideas suppose to do with his time? This chart was actually quite revealing. B4Y scored 175.35 in last year’s quarterfinals, a difference of less than 3 points from this year's performance. All things said, he’s the absolute worst quarterfinals team of all time. He accounts for three of the four worst performances ever in week 14, including the worst Festival performance ever in 2016. He does make up for it with the fourth best performance ever, but sadly for him he lost that game when his opponent hit him with the second best performance ever. Only one team has beaten that mark since. Browns4You: In Memoriam Third year in a row losing the quarterfinals for B4Y (lost to P9, GBM, and JJS). He is now 0-4 in the postseason to P9. Paddock 9 joins The Shotti Bunch as the only other franchise with four wins against an opponent in the postseason without a loss. Browns Got Ya Feeling Blue? Browns season was built on just that: Browns. Sorta racist. But when Antonio Brown let him down with 8.9 points, Josh Gordon got traded to the Patriots, and Duke Johnson, on the bench, finished with -0.65, it was only Landry that remained at the end of it all. While he did put on a great show, it wasn't enough to compensate for the loss of pro-bowl RB and former keeper Kareem Hunt. RB's Win Championships B4Y smartly avoiding the pressure from the press and left breakout draft pick Adrian Peterson on the bench. AP is predictably showing his age as we get further into the season, last week notwithstanding. His starters didn't fair much better. RBs Adams and White combined for just 10.48. He only started two RBs on the day, and if TSB has shown us anything it's that runningbacks win championships. Losing Elliot last season and Hunt this season were death blows to championship aspirations. The Fantasy Gods are Cruel Last week I made a joke to a select group of anonymous managers that it would be better off for B4Y if he benched his win. He would finish as the 6-seed and take on Papa instead of the scorching hot Paddock 9. Sweet Dee would cruelly have been eliminated, but then a weak Shotti would have had to face off against one of the league's best teams and likely be eliminated too. If Zach had done that, he would have still been eliminated, because he stank so bad. BUT, Papa would have been the victor, and the final four would be Papa vs. Pain Train, Paddock 9 vs. Garoppoblow Me. Who knows what would have happened next? Papa's Posse: In Memoriam Papa has still not won a playoff game since 2011. They are 0-3 against Sweet Dee in the postseason. Despite being a former champion, they now carry with them the longest postseason win drought in the league. Big Ben Comes Up Small Okay, not small. He still performed well despite failing to meet his 41-point projection. But when he was hit hard during his loss to the lowly Oakland Raiders, he missed several series that proved costly. The margin of defeat was small enough that hypothetically, Big Ben could have amassed enough on the drives he missed to close the gap. Live or Die with Your Guy if you're going to go out, I'm of the belief that you go out with the guys that got you there (unless you're Zach. Do not start Kareem Hunt). So it was fitting on MNF that Adam Thielan was the last gasp of hope for Papa's Posse, the guy who has been a certified superstar most of the season. It just wasn't the case until too late for the Vikings and the Posse. Row, Row, Row Your Team, Gently Down the Stream Ultimately, Papa had a great year because he was able to stream players successfully for an extended period of time. For that four week stretch at the end of the season he was the league's top scorer. Very impressive, considering they were making three or four coin flip starts on a weekly basis. Two trades were the undoing for PP. One, Golden Tate got traded from the Lions, rendering him useless. And the final nail in the coffin might have been releasing Amari Cooper. He was a dud with the Raiders, and who could have known that he was on the verge of becoming a pro-bowl caliber WR for the Dallas Cowboys? Now that the quarterfinals are over, the series between Papa's Posse and Sweet Dee is tied 6-6, while the series for Paddock 9 and Browns4You is tied 8-8. Two great, storied rivalries, with another chapter being written in 2019. The 2018 Cinco De Lose-O Two former champions ousted in the opening round of the tournament now face off in the 2018 Cinco De Lose-O. Named by Sweet Dee, it is the first 5th place game to brandish the moniker. The Cinco De Lose-O (2011-Present) Paddock 9 it numero uno in cinco de lose-o. He has put up three of the top four scores in this game over the years. Sweet Dee, on he other hand, has the lowest ever winning score in this game at 196. The best part about the 5th place game is when one of the teams scores enough to have beaten a few of the semifinals teams, and they have to live with the fact that if they'd gotten it done in week 14 they might have been a champion. Glory Bowl Appearances by Team B4Y is about to log their league "best" 4th Cinco De Lose-O appearance this week, meaning no team has lost more quarterfinals games than them. Papa will be playing in their third and they are .500. Once Butt makes the playoffs, if he ever does, he can be added to this list. Browns4You (7-7) vs. Papa's Posse (9-5) Why wouldn't it come down to another great rivalry here in week 15? This is just the second postseason game these two have played against each other and the first since that epic Glory Bowl I. Once down 5-2 in the series, Papa has roared back in recent years to take a narrow 7-8 edge. They are tied 1-1 this season, so the rubber match will determine the 2018 series champion between these two. Semifinals Appearances by Team Last week, P9 and SD had to take down former champions. This week, the two semifinal rookies go up against a pair of teams who are each trying to get back into the Glory Bowl for a second time. Paddock 9 and Sweet Dee, congrats, you guys get to join the rest of us on this list! You're now tied with a team that played only one year in the league. Well done. (2) Pain Train WOO WOO (10-3) vs. (4) Paddock 9 (8-6) Pretty much as inevitable as RIPDab vs. TSB has become in recent years, this showdown was destined from day one, pick one of the draft. Two teams who just do not respect each other, going toe-to-toe for a trip to the Glory Bowl. Paddock 9's first ever playoff win leads them into battle with arch rival Pain Train. Unlucky number thirteenth matchup for these two teams, with PT on a three-game win streak dating back to last seasons quarterfinals. Prior to that? A three-game win streak for P9, and before that a three-game win streak for Pain Train. If we are stuck in some sort of loop here, akin to time's flat circle, we are in for a Paddock 9 victory. That's not the only sign that points that way. * Thursday Night - The biggest game of the matchup is happening in just a few hours. A hobbled Tyreek Hill vs. Travis Kelce, with P9 QB Patrick Mahomes throwing the ball. But that's not all, because Paddock 9 will also deploy WR2 Keenan Allen and kicker Badgley. In all, Five of the 22 players will go in this game. * Sunday - P9 will hope to build a big lead on Sunday with LAR Defense going up against a Wentz-less Philly offense. In the ultimate twist of fate, James Conner might not play for the second playoff week in a row. As much as we hated on Pat for trading the guy this season, he'd be in big trouble if he was relying on him now. Instead, he has his backup. The backup to the backup. PT, meanwhile, has to hope that Jeffery will get his for Philly as one of his primary receivers. The other receiver, Adams, has a tough 1pm matchup with Chicago Defense. Kirk Cousins has to do to the Dolphins what Tom Brady did a week ago (minus the gut-wrenching loss at the end). We'll also see how Jordan Howard, obtained in a multi-trade deal that involved Joe Mixon, Will Fuller, and DeAndre Hopkings (now on Sweet Dee), will fair with Cohen coming on of late. * MNF - It's the Christian McCaffrey show on Monday night, as the lone remaining player. What lead will Paddock 9 be holding at that point? McCaffrey's last six games: 41, 45, 21, 69, 47, 35. I think a 60-point lead is probably safe. Anything less and it's dangerous. Let us not forget that Chris snagged Christian right before P9 was going to take him in the draft. (1) Garoppoblow Me (10-3) vs. (6) Sweet Dee (7-7) Not since 2011 has a 6th-seed made it to the Glory Bowl, let alone won. Sweet Dee hopes that this changes, and to do so they have to defeat an old foe. Back and forth the pendulum has swung in this one. No team has won more than two straight, and there has only been one matchup where both teams managed to break 200 (back in 2015). This week, the projections favor GBM, but not by much. * Thursday - SD will go with KC once again, hoping that Phil Rivers history in cold weather games is an indicator that this one could be a defensive battle. That, of course, would not bode well for our friends one matchup above. Dee also hopes that with the injuries at RB, they can capitalize with D. Williams. * Saturday - Two Saturday games, people! Don't forget! This one is huge for Dee, as she gets DeAndre Hopkins against the Jets on Saturday afternoon. But GBM will be taking his first crack at it, with breakout star Philip Lindsay going against the Browns on Saturday night. They will also have to decide if they are starting Denver's D or switch to JAX going up against a Washington team in turmoil. * Sunday - '''The rest of Dee's players will go on Sunday. Players to watch will obvioisly be Luck against a stout Dallas D, and Gurley hoping to come back from last week's dud. Whether or not GBM rolls with Goff, to try and negate some of Gurley's points, or Wilson against SF, remains to be seen (even by him). * MNF - No pressure, but this MNF game will determine who goes to the championship game. Keeper duo Alvin Kamara and Michael Thomas battle it out in Carolina. Thomas has been a weak fantasy performer lately, operating at under 100%. Consolation Corner And then there are these ingrates. All-Time Franchise Consolation Tournament Records Below is a list of all teams who have participated in the Post-Season Consolation Tournament and their performances in that tournament. A two-time Million Dollar Game loser, RIPDab is hoping this is the year they get their first win in the consolation tournament. Win the Heart and Soul Bowl, control your destiny. Either way, they will face one of two teams in a bowl game next week: Bell of da Ball, who sparked the 2012 Even Year Curse, or The Shotti Bunch AKA the Bane of his existence. No team has a shot at catching up to Paddock 9's 6-2 record any time soon, which is why he is known around these parts as the Consolation King (let us not forget). (8th) ma ma momma said (4-9) vs. (9th) RIPDab (3-10) These two teams are 8-5 against each other, with RIPDab owning the edge. However, momma does have one victory against RIPDab in the playoffs, which ended Dab's incredible 11-2 season once upon a time. No love lost. Already with a hefty stock of draft picks, momma hopes to win this tournament and control where they will pick (out of the top four spots) in 2019. RIPDab can salvage some dignity if they can make it into a bowl game with The Shotti Bunch and beat him in the postseaon for the first time (0-4). (7th) The Shotti Bunch (6-7) vs. (10th) Bell of da Ball (3-10) I can't be the only one here who feels like TSB is a heavy underdog in this tournament, right? 1-1 series, this should be an interesting tiebreak game. Maybe some rookie jitters for TSB playing in their first consolation game? Strange that Ball is the seasoned vet here. Ball is the favored by point projection but they have James Conner in the lineup, who has missed practice all week, and Shotti has Gordon on the bench who is expected to play with no Ekeler. I know it's hard to get excited about consolation tournaments, but PAD THOSE WIN STATS FOLKS. Conclusion & Glory Bowl Combinations Next week, a brand new champion will be crowned in the League of Champions. We will meet at Bo's Billiards on Friday to toast to our two Glory Bowl teams and to the league as a whole for staying together for so long. Of the four teams remaining, here are the possible matchups we will have in week 16: * '''Paddock 9 vs. Sweet Dee - Two teams that had never won a playoff game meet up in the most unexpected but exciting Glory Bowl yet. P9 would be a heavily projected favorite. * Pain Train WOO WOO vs. Garoppoblow Me - PT has owned GBM, but they split the season series and would both come into the game a league best 11-3. All eyes would be on Commish tryng to take down the league's 2018 villain, but projections would be tight between these long-time friends and epic fantasy enemies. * Pain Train WOO WOO vs. Sweet Dee - The 6th seed in the championship after taking down the 1 seed. A run of historic proportions, the first woman to ever make it to a Glory Bowl (they are already the first to win a playoff game). A David and Goliath story. * Paddock 9 vs. Garoppoblow Me - A matchup that needs very little introduction. No two teams have been more passionate about fantasy football this season and no two teams want it more desperately than these two. From Patriots vs. Falcons, to Madden games, to fantasy, to food, to jobs, to girls, to who can text the joke the fastest, to bets that never get paid, these two go at it about every fucking thing in life. Their entire friendship is a competition. Who is the better friend? I'm winning so far, by the way. But he got me good when he bought 7 of my books. That fuck. Also the league's two best teams this season, scoring wise. See everyone next Friday at Bo's! (or else)